Updated: 6 days ago

A man doesn’t realize the true “power” he has over a woman when he is loving her, treating her, and respecting her the right way. Even women who are strong-minded, independent, and walking around with the I don’t “need” a man attitude, needs and wants a man who makes her feel so secure that she wraps her world around his fingers.

A woman who sees the value of herself and what she takes to the table, seeks a man who adds value to her life just the same. The biggest mistakes a man can make are to treat her like an option, take her love for granted, or let her feel like she has to compete with other women for his love, time, and attention. A man should never leave a women wondering where she stands in his life.

I know first hand what is like to wrap my world around a man’s finger. I also know what it is like to feel so insecure in a relationship based on a man’s actions and behavior that I am okay sitting at a table alone.

At the end of the day, love can cost you everything or be the greatest gift of all. If a man recognizes and is given the master key to a woman’s heart, he should love her right, treat her right, and ensure other women treat her with respect. He should lock her down and throw away the key so no other man can claim access to her heart.

Trinkets, gifts, and good looks are nice. But the sexiest thing a man can do is give a woman the confidence to feel loved, safe, respected and secure in a relationship with him. Doing so will grant him benefits to her heart that he never had access to before. She will wrap her life around him and treat him like a king with the greatest smile on her face.

Now that doesn’t mean one should be a fool for love. Set some expectations, have standards, and don’t settle. I tell women all the time to treat themselves like a pot of Gold. That doesn’t mean walk around like you are too good for someone or better than the next person. It means put a great deal of value on yourself and make sure you know your own worth, especially when you know what you can take to the table. Understand that what a person takes to the table can be subjective. That doesn’t mean money, education, or things that are necessarily tangible. Love, honor, care, and transparency, to name a few, can make the meal you serve good too.

Since I have been grown, I have not been in a bad relationship with a man who wasn't my husband. When things turned bad in my marriages, we went our separate ways. Now I am not saying when the going gets tough, it is time to get going. But sometimes reasons warrant dissolving a marriage.

One’s mental health and happiness speaks volumes on a person’s quality of life. If someone is destroying your mental health or your happiness has greatly declined, it may be time to make some changes. Again, those changes may not mean jump ship, but the changes should be something pursued for the sake of those involved.

It is amazing to me the number of men who are okay with moving in with a woman and her kids and playing house. He lays up around her kids, enjoys three meals a day, enjoys her warm “treats” keeps her nails done, throws her a few dollars on the Netflix bill and calls it a day. All while knowing he has no true plans to be a father figure to her kids or make her his wife.

Why settle for that? Let him milk someone else’s cow for free and move on. Yeah we may be in love, his presence may feel good, and we may enjoy the few trinkets he throws our way, but is that all we are worth. While a woman is keeping him full, fed, and “empty”, he is many times not making any commitments to marry her.

The hell with that! Re-evaluate, Re-calculate, and Reset. If he values you and what the two of you have, he will reciprocate and rise to your expectations. If you settle for less, you will end up with less and live a life of one unhappy woman in a relationship.

Life is too short to settle. Life is too short to live unhappy. Find, secure, and own your own truth, don’t settle just to have a man. Trust me, you will thank yourself later.

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